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Experience with Ayahuasca: Tom C. from London- England,( 21 years)

The ceremony took place in a fanstatic basement room with cushons, blankets, candles and other things to make the ceremony complete. It was the most comfortable environment I could have asked for and the people guiding me (Gabi and her husband Albert) were extremely welcoming and helpful throughout my experience. After drinking the first cup of ayahuascha went to sit down in a corner where I meditated for around 20 minutes to try to relax. With my eyes closed, I began to see coloured patterns emerge which slowly became brighter and more detailed. There were arrangements of feathers that spread across my vision, they twisted and swirled.

As time went on the hallucinations became more intense until I felt something much deeper. There was not a huge change in my vision but a power behind these hallucinations revealed itself. It was a power beyond what words can describe, beyond the 5 senses and it would be understandable for somebody to describe it as "God". It was not a physical person, but a presence so powerful that it would stun any person into amazed silence and awe. It seemed as if this presence was showing me what was possible for him/her/it to do and that it was ultimately kind. As I meditated, I felt as though choruses of angels were singing as I was lifted to heaven. The colours shone so brightly and I began to weep as I felt deep within me what most people spend their lives searching for. This was only the beginning of my trip, a glimpse of heaven. This feeling began to fade back to reality, I knew there was a lot for me to learn but I began to trust Ayahuasca and the people around me.

Slowly I would fade in and out of dream like trances. Some people call these ''visions'' but the visual hallucinations were not the most important part. While sometimes the visions are amazing, it was like drifting into a state away from the world around me, away from the normal 5 senses and to a place where my conicousness was opened to an indescribable level. Time itself began to mean nothing as I slipped in and out of this other world.

With each vision/dream/trance, there would be a lesson. I played with my recently deceased dog, remembered all the happy memories and became extremely sad about my loss. For some time I became very upset and was honest to myself about this. As this vision faded I still felt sad, but it was okay to feel like this. To be honest about my feelings and to accept them is fine when there is a good reason and all sadness will heal itself eventually if it is dealt with properly; this is what I learnt.

There was another lesson to learn. I thought of people who I have hated for a long time, I wanted Ayahuascha to take me on another powerful journey to deal with this hatred but there was none. I expected another long, emotional vision about this issue but nothing came. The reason nothing came was because there was no point. There is no point in hating, and no point in another long painful trip. I couldn't believe how simple this was. Ayahuasca answered this is tiny, insignificant question with no effort at all. There is no point hurting myself with pointless hate, it acheives nothing.

I felt that I had learnt a lot from this so far, but to learn more I needed to drink more. I was nervous about this and unsure whether to drink more or not. When I was offered another cup, I said yes. As Gabriele walked off to pour me another cup I saw a darkness in the corner of my room. Like the world around this black hole was being sucked in and spikes came out of it. I could not tell if these were claws or horns, but there was a scary presence in the room that I referred to as a "demon". My guide returned with the next cup of ayahuasca and I told her what I saw. She told me to "observe, but do not identify with it". I decided to trust the medicine, I drank another mouthful of ayahuasca and did not become trapped by fear of the demon. As I drank the next mouthful the demon disappeared.

The feelings described and power of the hallucination began to intensify so much that I became weak. I was sweating, trying hard to make sense of what was going on and the power of the experience was starting to get too much. As I laid down I imagined being in a dark wood, holding nothing but a dim light. I would hear whispers around me and a short trail leading ahead. I could feel the warmth of Ayahuasca, who for lack of a better word I will describe as an angel, wanted me to follow her. I obediently followed her into the darkness and she would take me on more and more journeys which I can no longer remember or describe anyway. Each was amazing, but I kept on asking questions. "What is this vision?" "What lesson do I learn here?" "How long have I been here?". My final lesson was to "Just be, stop questioning everything". My need for answers was bringing me down and true peace can only be found once I accept that I may not find all the answers.

From here the experience was perfect, I had complete trust in Ayahuasca and would follow her/him/it wherever she would take me. I spent a little more time with the amazing visions and just enjoyed the bliss that I was immersed in.

I have now been home for over 2 weeks and every so often think back to how lucky I am to have experienced something as fantastic as that. Once again I apologise for how long i took to reply but rest assured I have definitely not forgotten and will recommend ayahuasca to many people.

Peace and love,